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Friday, 6 January 2012

Whatever it takes to be happy

I have to trap this feeling before is gone, a feeling of redemption and hope bigger than me, bigger than life itself.
It's half past one in the afternoon. We are by the fountain, Estella's ashes still there, and floating in it's waters, the little toy Tom and I bought for her .
I am wondering how different today would have been if we had her, 3 Wise Men morning.
I sing Cabaret for her when a White dove approaches listening from a nearby branch.
Suddenly I see a gorgeous little boy, no more than 2 years old with his Mum running after a ball. The ball gets in the fountain and he reaches for it, and laughs and plays and I know he is playing with Estella.
Just before leaving he stops on his tiny feet for a second to look back at the fountain, he nods with a serious expression, is he saying goodbye to her?
Right after  an Irish Setter (exactly as the one I had as a child) comes and runs to the fountain, he is playing with Estella too...
and the birds sing, and the sky is blue and the air is warm and my Daughter is whispering in my ear, "Don't be sad, don't you see how happy I am?"
 Miracles are around the corner if you listen and look with your heart. Hand made miracles to suit your needs. Everyday stuff for some, signs for others. As my Dad told me once, whatever it takes to be happy.

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